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wearing my brother's clothes


Since I was a kid, I knew deep within myself that I will one day become a beautiful swan (like all kids do!). For some reason, people started calling me kara-boy.

I loved basketball and was a sharpshooter using pellet guns. These two games won me a few stuffed toys in carnivals. I had only 2 dolls and both creeped me out.



All throughout high school and early on in college, I felt all fat and uninteresting. I was just a kid who had my own world, from where I drew the confidence that I was smarter than the other girls (esp. the pretty ones).

But I had an image of myself deservingly more interesting.

a boy

When I was 18, I met this boy during my international exchange program. Thanks to him for making me feel so loved and special…

I started to accept that I had extra kilos, which I could lose, and that my bone structure was not to blame but 7-11. So every day I would work out for 2 hours and ate only watermelon and pineapple, wheat bread, Kellogg’s Special K Diet Challenge, and steamed tilapia, pechay, broccoli and potato. I have to admit that partly, it was to win his approval.

The strict diet lasted for about 6 months, then I toned down since school had already started. It’s quite difficult and expensive to find vegetarian food in the Philippines. Once when it was combined with stress and too much work, I ended up with a dextrose at home.

It’s always fulfilling to push yourself to the limit. This moment is thus immortalized.

been there, done that.