The President went to Maguindanao and thousands of armed men were deployed to secure him. The area is a sanctuary of armed men – good, bad, rebels, politicos, clans, ordinary men…

So I received a phone call from Den, right after the President left, right after the signal jammer was off. He was there, about one hour away, and would leave in about one and a half.

And so I didn’t take my lunch, took a bus, a jeep, a tricycle ride to where he was. Commuting around Maguindanao and Cotabato was exhilarating.

Then there we were, it was like magic. It was so dreamy to be in some foreign place with the person you so long to see.

Dennis Ong

Dennis Ong

The more or less 20 minutes that I spent there was awkward – he would introduce me to his seniors; we would talk on the bleachers while his troop was working; so he promptly kicked me out. No protest on my side.

After an hour, I received “good news.”

Great! It was then even more dreamy – commuting together around Cotabato, looking for a place to stay, and dreading once more the coming of the sun. Dawns have left a permanent rip upon my soul.

I love Den for all the patience and abstinence in my petty fights. Though he was clueless about my nights of breakdown, I accept that I have to let go of the obsession to know everything, to get a clear and logical explanation of everything, and a comprehensive profile of everyone.

An old prophecy told me how I am likely not to get married; if ever I do, it would not be harmonious, unless my spouse would be so giving, patient and understanding of my personality. I think that’s Den. I hope that’s Den. Otherwise, I might be doomed to loneliness. Meanwhile, I feel like a retard.

We started off imperfect. He used to be perfect for me. But we still have a long way to go, let’s see.

Aby (the closest friend to my strong self) congratulated me for I am now human. Never did she think I would be one to check on my lover’s phone, to cry at nights, to go gaga. But here I am willing to change my ways, my language, my self-entitlement…

Happy 28th!