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My mental state says I need some coffee or beer. “You’re overspending,” a response I never imagined would start cutting me off from the world.

It’s sad that I’ve got nowhere, no one to run to. I know, friends, you’re there. But I’m here.

I tried remembering the time when it wasn’t like this. I’ve had this mental state thingy since time immemorial. But I had someone. A friend or a stranger. Always. Until now.

Meanwhile in my head… “What if I get unstable sometime in the future and it gets real messy?” “Well, we’ll go through it together. I’ll help you sort it out.”