This is an oath and a way of releasing possible tension that prevents my body from going into labor yet. I’m not in a rush, I’m trying to contain my excitement.
It’s quite healthy to find yourself in between happiness and self-doubt, to assess whether what makes you happy or unhappy deserves any validation.
And from now on, I will stop blaming myself for a particular dissatisfaction and discontent that I’ve been feeling over the past few months. It’s unfair to take blame for wanting to raise the standards, and failing.
My oath goes… that I will love my baby no matter what. I will be there to support him, guide him. But I will also be there to tell him the hard truths and maybe pour ice-cold water over his head if he needs to wake up like that.
I promise not to tolerate unhealthy things, but leave him space to learn and explore. I won’t give him answers all the time, for neither I have them anyway.
I will understand that unhappiness is only one way to happiness. I will try to remember that unconditional love doesn’t mean allowing him to be less than who he could be. But pushing him to be his best self must not come at the cost of a trusting relationship.
I know I won’t get it right the first time, nor the second, nor the third. And he won’t too. So we should not give up, on each other, on the goal. Is there one? If there is any, be it to enjoy this freakin life together.