Maybe you’re missing your whole life. I once thought of what real missing is about. It’s actually feeling the presence of someone despite the apparent absence. Like when mom was away, it was just like she was here. When I left Taiwan, it was just like my beloved was always here, walking with me on streets and malls, up the escalator, in my room… But life was moving on, I wasn’t stuck nor was I miserable that I couldn’t be with him (yes true that every moment was painful, yet beautiful).
And then I see people say, “I miss college!!! I miss school!!! I wanna go back!!!” Or say, “I can’t wait to go! I’m super looking forward to this and that! I can’t wait to get out of this school, this hell, this everything.”
It’s a cycle — being in high school looking forward to college; being in college looking back at how fun high school is and looking forward to work where there’s more freedom; working and missing the awesome student life… we might be missing everything.
So what can you do now that you’re “missing” someone or something? How can you live in the present?
I don’t have a step-by-step guide here. Like google tourist spots, meet new friends, hang out in places where you might find someone interesting, take photos, study something, do what you love on the side, exercise, join a group, learn a skill…
I guess it’s simpler. Make memories, create a story. A story that you would love to tell over and over again. A story completely encoded with your feelings, sensations, and thoughts.
The butterflies in your stomach when someone stares straight to your eyes, the feeling of meeting new people the first time and feeling totally lost, the feeling of actually being lost in a big city whose language you can’t speak, the touch of pollution on your face, the feeling of sitting on your office chair, watching your boss, watching the orange sky, the feeling of studying until 3 am, the smell of books, the chill or dryness of the air.. Encode everything to memory. Credit everything to your story.