“I’m busy” is okay until…

Tags

break up, busy, connection, growimg apart, relationship

When she was 18, Zee ended her 4-year relationship because M couldn’t make time for her – he was busy working and couldn’t decline drinking sessions with his friends. For four months, he kept saying he’ll make it up to her. Until Zee got tired.

Kay has given pseudo-boyfriend Jay time to think things thru. He didn’t want to be unfair, making Kay wait and understand that he’s a busy man. He thought being busy was enough reason to end everything and come clean and fair.

AJ used to not have time for Bee for playing video games. It was okay with her, they were little after all and he deserved time to enjoy with his friends. Then AJ got a job, Bee was waiting for hers. AJ didn’t have time then Bee committed a terrible mistake. She was forgiven as it was not that terrible. Then they both became busy. AJ didn’t have time for Bee, yet he had time for Ox, a new girl — a terrible mistake that broke them forever.

“I’m busy” is okay until it becomes the very reason and a convenient excuse for disconnection and growing apart.

All we want is quality conversation, which doesn’t even have to be intelligent all the time.
We don’t even need 180 minutes. We just need 10 minutes of full attention, 10 full minutes for reconnection.

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Damn, I was scared

Tags

break up, breakup, relationship, trust

From when we were still starting up until now, when we have just missed our 7th month (again) people have been asking, “Are you still together?”

I have a feeling that somehow they are just waiting for the breakup. Yet even Den told me, “You’re just waiting for me to make a mistake.”

How can I not accept that it’s ok to relax because he won’t do anything that will hurt me?

“That’s the farthest you can go? While I can die for you.”

Why am I still not buying that? I’ve been meaning to write about trust, but I can never pin it down.

Love hotline

Tags

boyfriend, break up, girlfriend, love stories, new, relationships, social relevance

Last week was full of stories about love — a relationship announced, a 5-year relationship that has ended, and one that may or may not take off after a dramatic! risk (one that I was too shocked to digest quickly). 

Three girls, three stories, three themes, three days. Girl A is entering a relationship that may be lacking love, or so she says. In a way, it’s her dream to be a brat-girlfriend (watching too much korean series, I think).

Girl B doesn’t know how she’d react when she and her boyfriend (or ex) talk. “I’ll just tell him, ‘Talk to my lawyer, she’ll tell you everything.” She has been dependent on more mature people most of her life. She’s broken, but I think it’s about time… that she grows [outside of the relationship], for a change, to explore another dimension.

What’s most interesting was the phone call from Girl C. “I called to affirm you that what you do is appreciated. It’s when you opened up to me about two years ago. Yes, it takes a while to be appreciated. It’s not something that everyone does.” She did something great, something I didn’t anticipate this soon. The “great” thing she did is free from my judgment; rather, it’s her decision to take a leap of faith, a giving without attachments, pure in form. Her words still arrest me. They warm and touch me. I’m still surprised every time. I remember when I felt giving up part of a dream, she wrote, “For me, social relevance has a LOT to do with heart, with letting people grow, with challenging guarded people to risk their heart once in a while— and thats an area [where you don’t fall short]. I’m just happy she has stepped out of a shadow.

To the three girls… no matter how the story goes, nothing stops us from exploring  and knowing ourselves better in every step. Right or wrong.