Do you feel small? Do you want to work on your feeling small?
Start working on your feeling BIG first.
And everything else shall follow.
I stopped going to church when Jollibee stopped motivating me. Recently, I decided to do away with the sign-of-the-cross (which I previously consciously embraced). The trigger was how supposed Christians reacted to Mideo Cruz, ’nuff said. I realized that removing all symbols, routines, and images doesn’t really bring me farther away from god.
When I stopped going to church, it was merely because it didn’t make sense to me. I did not rebel whatsoever, I just came to the conclusion that I cannot know whether god existed.
So how can you free yourself? We are born into the world with a perfect belief system — family values, society, religion, school, etc. Essentially, we are born bonded, tied and constrained to these structures. You are born unconscious. You start becoming alive when you question every little part of this finished/polished world, where there is almost no space for exploration and discovery.
Wearing complete uniform at school didn’t make sense to me. Not being allowed to have 3 pairs of earrings did not make sense to me. Not being allowed to dye my hair did not make sense to me. Not being allowed to play cards along corridors did not make sense to me. Why I have to wear my uniform exactly two inches below the knee did not make sense to me. The rules of the CAT (citizen army training) did not make sense to me. Why I have to memorize “prayers” did not make sense to me. Why I can’t eat in class did not make sense to me. Why I cannot cheat did not make sense to me. Hating gays and condemning prostitutes did not make sense to me. Why my friends have to go home before night falls did not make sense to me.
The first step is investigating which is real and which isn’t, which makes sense and which is BS.
Being aware of what structures are trying to dominate and rule your life is a precious first step towards your own liberation.
Is it your mom bombarding you with text messages? Is it your principal who says you can’t wear striped socks? Is it your 6 pm curfew? Is it your english teacher who says you can’t write in your own style? Is it your neighbor who plays loud music? Or your friend who always drags you along? Is it your boss who keeps you in the shadows? Or your credit card company? Or your mayor who would not effect change? Do nothing, yet. Just be aware.
If you’re starting to think that you have in your hands the great mission on earth communicated by god only to the select few, please come back down to earth.
If you’re starting to entitle yourself to goodies and perks for doing this work, please stay lean, hungry and foolish.
Your work is but your own growth, happiness and fulfillment. Question without asking, speak without noise.
It’s me speaking, by the way.